Bandsman David and his flautist lover find privacy in an Army library, despite being members of one of Britain's most institutionally homophobic institutions.

In this extract, David remembers his early years as an army cadet, after leaving school with no qualifications. He signed on for 12 years, a period of service which would technically start three years later when David was 18, though he'd joined the Army at 15.

Always kidding himself that his homosexuality was just a phase he was going through, and which he now believes to be rubbish, David's first three years in the Army included an affair he had with a fellow bandsman, a flautist. Together they would use various subterfuges to enjoy quiet moments together in privacy, especially in the library. David recalls that though the sex was enjoyable, he felt ashamed afterwards, going on to discuss how that sense of failing society and tradition by not doing what was usually expected of boys and men, namely getting married, fathering children and supporting the family, contributed strongly to his guilt.

David admits that sex in the Army was never rife, but also reckons, in hindsight, that there was a lot more of it going on than even he was aware of. He also sees no distinction between the oppressive laws and attitudes of the UK at the time and the nightmare of the Nazi regime, which sent its gay men to Dachau.

David admits that he didn't help his own case because he had joined what was one of the country's most homophobic institutions - the Army. David and his flautist friend were courting disaster because at that time it was still illegal to be gay in the military. Being under 18, however, the Army would have just thrown them out rather than put them into an Army prison, but if they had been older, they would have had the book thrown at them.

David was born in Birmingham in 1948. His father worked in the aircraft industry and his mum was a housewife. David grew up with two sisters and a brother and they enjoyed a happy childhood.

On holiday in Yorkshire, when David was seven, he was sexually assaulted by a Station Master, but was too scared to tell his family about it. At the same time, he began to realise that he was attracted to other boys and had numerous sexual contacts with other boys at school.

Leaving school without any academic qualifications, David joined the Army at 16, becoming a bandsman playing the clarinet as well as serving in Germany and Northern Ireland. He had a number of covert sexual encounters during his army career, but it was when, as he admits, that he failed to follow his own rules of propriety and 'betrayed his trust', that David, who by then was a senior NCO, was reported, court-martialled and discharged from the army in 1973.

On leaving the Army, David was now free to pursue an openly gay life and met his life partner, Martin, in 1976. They have been together for over 30 years, and they now live in Luxembourg.