Geoff talks about his mysterious attraction to European men while still a teenager in Tanzania and before his migration to the UK.

In this short extract, Geoff describes how his fascination with European men developed during his late teens and before he made the move from Tanzania to England in 1962. After finishing his schooling and failing to find any worthwhile jobs in Tanzania, Geoff describes this period as one of a growing and crucial self-awareness.

Feeling a strange and even compulsive attraction to Europeans living and working in the former British colony known as Tanganyika, Geoff, on many occasions, would simply walk beside those he saw in the streets of Dar-es-Salaam. He admits he felt guilty and hoped that these strange compulsions would go away. Above all wanting to touch these European men, Geoff says he has since spent time trying to analyse why, feeling that lack of body contact and an undemonstrative home environment might have been the cause. Geoff also felt that Europeans had more 'body' to offer, though he kept such feelings to himself.

Reflecting that he never encountered anything about homosexuals in anything he'd read, nor did he know anything about them, Geoff adds that if he'd stayed in the country, he would have eventually married. At this time, Geoff never had any contact with Europeans, and they never went anywhere near him. For Geoff, it was a 'look but don't touch' type of existence.

Geoff was born to a Muslim family in 1942 in Dar-es-Salaam, in modern day Tanzania. His mother was a housewife and his father worked as a clerk at Shell UK. Geoff attended a local madrasa and being a shy child, he felt he was neither bright not confident enough to do well at school. He became fascinated by the European men he saw and would often walk beside them all around the city, and though there was never any physical contact, his dream was to be able to touch them.

In 1962, following his brother, Geoff moved to the UK, where he stayed at the British Council in Knightsbridge. In London he gradually learned how to navigate his way around the gay areas of the city and discovered where men would meet, which included Speaker's Corner in Hyde Park and the YMCA in Central London.

Geoff eventually formed a relationship with an older man, who was already partnered, and he became part of a triangular relationship for the next 22 years, though he did have his own flat. Today, Geoff lives alone with the occasional visit from friends. He is financially secure and has recently joined a painting class.