Feeling confused and isolated, teenager Geoff can't understand his feelings as he wanders around the streets of Dar-es-Salaam.

Geoff describes, in this short extract, his complete lack of awareness about homosexuality while still a teenager in the Dar-es-Salaam of the 1950s. Despite not feeling any attraction to either sex, Geoff dreamt about having a girlfriend and getting married. He then describes how, at 17, he began to feel a same-sex attraction to foreigners, but only if they were of a different race, going on to admit that at the time he had no idea that gay people even existed. It was only when he eventually migrated to England that he found out more about gay men - and also himself.

Even so, at home in Tanganyika, now called Tanzania, Geoff recalls that he did know of a man who was reputed to be a 'boy-chaser', but he was too naïve to really understand what that meant. However, his older brothers and friends did seem to know much more about such goings-on, and though there was certainly 'gay behaviour' going on around him, Geoff never encountered it personally. Such behaviour, in any case, would have been severely frowned up by the wider society.

Geoff later found out that a friend of his had several older 'friends' whom he saw on a regular basis. Admitting that he knew nothing about it, Geoff says that if found out, homosexuals would have been reported to the authorities, since homosexuality was illegal in Tanganyika, which was still under British rule. He adds that, even in modern day Tanzania, homosexuality is a taboo subject.

Geoff was born to a Muslim family in 1942 in Dar-es-Salaam, in modern day Tanzania. His mother was a housewife and his father worked as a clerk at Shell UK. Geoff attended a local madrasa and being a shy child, he felt he was neither bright not confident enough to do well at school. He became fascinated by the European men he saw and would often walk beside them all around the city, and though there was never any physical contact, his dream was to be able to touch them.

In 1962, following his brother, Geoff moved to the UK, where he stayed at the British Council in Knightsbridge. In London he gradually learned how to navigate his way around the gay areas of the city and discovered where men would meet, which included Speaker's Corner in Hyde Park and the YMCA in Central London.

Geoff eventually formed a relationship with an older man, who was already partnered, and he became part of a triangular relationship for the next 22 years, though he did have his own flat. Today, Geoff lives alone with the occasional visit from friends. He is financially secure and has recently joined a painting class.