Michael reflects on how HIV has affected his relationship and the changes that being diagnosed positive have brought to his life in general.

Michael reflects on his HIV status and the way being 'positive' has affected his life. His diagnosis came when he was just starting a new relationship, and both he and his partner decided to work through the consequences together.

Michael now views being HIV positive in positive ways, despite bouts of ill health and the occasional hospital stay. Referring to a condition he has, called 'spastic guts', Michael is unsure whether or not that is HIV-related or simply due to his advancing age.

Today, Michael leads a very 'sensible' life and behaves like a retiree. Recalling that he 'grieved' when he got his diagnosis, Michael adds that he also 'grieved' for the things he'd have to give up, like competitive contact sports. He also comments on the friends who had to be 'sacrificed' because they couldn't handle the new situation, particularly those who originally had problems coping with his gayness and then with his HIV status. However, Michael records that there were friends who coped with both, and who remain his friends.

Gay friends were 'cut off', which Michael doesn't consider a great loss, since friendships and relationships on the gay scene tended to be short-lived and fickle by nature. Also believing that he was no longer 'young and beautiful', he felt out of place in a gay scene which was centred on young people. Feeling a bit like 'mutton dressed as lamb' at gay venues, Michael says he was once told to 'get out of the way! Grandad'. Nowadays, Michael has retreated from the 'gay scene' and doesn't miss it one bit.

Michael was born in Horley, Surrey, in 1949, before moving with his family to rural Somerset. His father, an Old Etonian, was a farmer and his mother was a teacher. Despite attending a public school, Michael also trained to be a teacher.

Until he was in his thirties, Michael was deeply conflicted about his homosexuality. He had many dalliances with boys of his own age and later with girls. He got to know a snail expert who was conducting research on Exmoor. Though married, the man made a pass at Michael, who was shocked by the experience.

Another friendship was with a fellow biker, who ridiculed the absence of women in Michael's life. In revenge, Michael found a girlfriend, who was already engaged to someone else, and had a seven-year relationship with her, despite her eventual marriage to another man.

Having also suffered with a long-running nervous break-down, Michael eventually came to terms with his sexuality with the help of friends and a local vicar.

After numerous encounters, Michael eventually found his life partner, just as he learned that he was HIV positive, though he says he was never that promiscuous. He and his partner became involved in their local church and have received much support from the priest and the congregation. Michael has ambitions to write and has enrolled on some of the gay author, Patrick Gale's creative writing courses.